I remember vividly when my daughter was born. As I held her in my arms,( after I'd counted her fingers and toes) I said a silent prayer that she would live up to her full potential. I assumed that meant she would graduate from college. I am sure that is the wish of many parents when they have a child.
I am fortunate. My daughter graduated from college and medical school-- in spite of fact that I was a "single mother ."In those days (I know I sound like a 90 year old lady now) the conventional wisdom was that a child from a "broken family", (which is what a single parent family was called), had little chance of success in life. There wasn't a great deal of research in those days. Maybe that was for the best. Negative research might have discouraged parents, and children of single parent households. Research today implies that it is not the number of parents in a household, but the support a family receives. I am firm believer ,that having faith in your child, as well as having high expectations, will allow a child to reach for the stars--whatever his or her star may look like.
I will admit, that the latest statistics about children today are disheartening to say the least. This is the first generation of children who may die before their parents due to obesity related illnesses. This is a reason that I will be writing at least one "healthful" recipe a week and include recipes for the busy parent (and who is not?).
Now I begin my RANT. First, I was far from a perfect parent--all you need to do is ask my daughter for verification. But I was a conscientious parent. After doing years of family and parenting counseling, I have drawn some conclusions, which I am certain will offend many--and I will respond to each person who contacts me. This is a very important discussion, for our youth, our families and our nation. So here goes!
This weeks "cheery" statistics about the youth today has focused on education. It has been said for several years that American children are lagging far behind other nations in math and science. The statistics this week state that American children are only 14th on the list of countries whose children will graduate college---we used to be first! Our high school graduation rate is one of the worst of any industrialized nations (maybe somebody can give me the actual statistic?)
I don't know about how other folks feel about this, but I believe that our children are our most valuable resource. So, what is going on with our children? I know there are people on the political "Right" who will point out the demise of a society full of "sinners." However, our country was founded by religious dissidents, and we seemed to do pretty well. I see little value in judging other's regarding religious philosophies. One mans sinner might be another man's saint.
Finding somebody to blame, seems pointless to me. Finding some causes that we might correct, seems much more productive. By now, I think most folks are not so "simple minded"as to think that there is one answer, or that correcting an education system has only to do with buildings, teachers and the institution itself. If I knew the answers, I would be a genius, which I'm not. I will however propose some questions and observations about how society is "supporting" our youth.
Before I discuss some factors which may be contributing to the failure of our youth to receive an education, I do want to point out what I have noticed in the past 20 years or so. Certainly my "opinions" will anger some, but if they help anybody start "fine tuning" their critical thinking skills on behalf of our youth, then I will be happy.
In the past 20 years, or maybe longer, there seems to be a growing gap between the "Haves" and the "Have-nots." The middle class, as most of us know, is a shrinking population. How did this happen? Many will want to point blame to this or that political faction. One thing, I think few can deny (although many will) is that our "American Value of Individualism" has driven the economy, and, in my opinion, driven greed. As we've watched a "Wall Street Debacle", we have seen the funding going into education dwindle. Any first year economics student will tell you that the higher the education, the higher the lifetime earnings. Therefore, it seems to me, that the less education our children receive, they are doomed to less income, and certainly, our high school dropouts are doomed to poverty. Now, everyone can point out exceptions, but I am addressing the average.
Is this what we want for our youth of our country? Certainly, some will benefit, but at what cost? I am not at all sure, that in our in our culture we are encouraged to look at the "long term effects" of what we do. Look at global warming? And I do believe there are some who will "go into denial" to support their lifestyles. Some simply don't care, as long as they and theirs have abundance. Somebody said once, and I don't know who, "That a societies greatness will be judged by how their weakest citizens are treated." This is obviously not a direct quote; but what have we seen of past societies who did not respect all their citizens? Here is another platitude, "If we forget history, we are sure to repeat it."
Our society today is complicated. I still hear folks say, "He/she should pull themselves up by their own boot straps." We have children in our country, whose parents have no "boot straps" so what is to come of these children? What happened to the "American Dream?" Is it only for the "Haves?" This is a decision we need to make as a nation. I know I don't want to be a citizen of a country that will not support her children, no matter WHO their parents are!
Are parents to blame? But who raised today's parents? It is tough to raise a family in today's economic climate. Even in two parent households, parents are harried and hurried. I believe, having worked with every economic group there is-- that most parents want their children to be happy and successful. Most parents also want their children to have "more," than than they have. So what is going on in our country?
If we look at other industrialized nations, that have a more educated population and youth, we find cultures that strive to "support families." I don't mean financially, although many do help families with children financially, no matter what the income. What I am talking about is a culture where children are "valued,"and children get educational, emotional and cultural supports.
My opinion is: if we do not recognize our children as the gifts that they are, and if we leave the "raising of children" only to the families that have children, then we will continue in a downhill spiral. So what can we do to help? We all can help even if it is just one child at a time.
When was the last time you volunteered to help a child as "Big Brother or Sister" or as a mentor? How about with your own nieces, nephews, grandchildren or neighborhood children? When was the last time you actually visited a school before voting on a "school bond" or tax? Do you even know if the schools in your area teach the arts anymore? How about P.E. or sports? How do the children who are less affluent in your area afford to play sports, get equipment, pay for dance lessons or music lessons and instruments? These activities keep children engaged in education. Have you checked out the schools to see really what is needed? What are the schools in your area serving in the cafeterias? Do you know what is "fresh,"what is processed, how much salt and fat are in the children's food? Are the children on average obese? What are the children learning about nutrition? How about the parents? How about YOU?! I think it is time we all become educated.
We can not remain, or be a great nation, and be a nation of individuals only. Our youth are in a crisis, and they did not get there alone. We are all responsible. Let's not place blame, let's find answers. Again a quote, I can not take credit for,"It takes a village to raise a child." I am ready to be a part of that "village." How about you?
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