I am always concerned about how we as a culture treat our children. Sometimes I feel we look at our children as accessories as opposed to the gifts that they are. By that I mean, our lives during child rearing should revolve around the children's needs (notice I said needs and not wants).
I believe there are some very basic needs that children often do not get. The first one, you all have heard me discuss probably endlessly, is feeding our children healthy, low in fat, non processed foods. Junk food should be held to a minimum and maybe special occasions. I realize this takes planning for a parent, and often it is just faster and easier to grab something on the go--like McDonald's--although, by the way, in England all foods served at McDonald's must be organic and the animals must be treated well before they become your hamburger or whatever---This is because England demanded it. McDonald's complied and in England the McDonald's are the highest grossing McDonald's! I realize I went off on a tangent, but I believe folks here should know. Anyway, back to the meals.
Mealtimes should be approximately the same time everyday. The human body is like a machine, it works best when it receives fuel on a regular basis and can anticipate when the next meal will come. I am a big believer in family meals (for you who are not subscribers to my column, you might want to read my article on family meals). Having a schedule for a meal or really anything (within reason) gives a child a sense of security and confidence that his world is OK. They have something they can count on.
We adults also should eat at scheduled times, not skip meals etc. I know most adults are guilty of not doing this, but at least try to do it around your children. Your example is extremely important to a child, even a teenager! Although it is a teenager's "job" to never let you know! Too many parents feed their children when they get around to it in their hectic schedules. I am not "throwing stones". I know what it is like to be a busy working parent--and many are single parents as I was. But in this respect, I feel we need to fit into our child's need, not our own convenience.
The second "pet peeve" I have about parenting, that I have seen so much of is: no bedtime schedule or one that is the parents sleep schedule. I know why this happens in many cases. We love our children and because most of us work or have to work (I am not really sure of the actual statistics today), we want to spend as much time with our children as we can. Unfortunately, we do them no favors when we don't adhere to a strict bedtime that allows for the child to get a minimum of 8--9 hours of sleep ( I tried to get stats for exactly how much sleep a child needs, but this was as close as I could get, most pediatricians I spoke with leaning more toward the nine hours). The new study that came out yesterday, states that children who do not get enough sleep, are more obese. There were scientific explanations that I understood, but would fall short if I tried to explain them! Anyway, parents, we need to settle on quality time with our children instead of quantity of hours. Not only will they perform better at school, sports and etc., but will also have a better chance of maintaining a healthy weight.
Again, remember, that a schedule is a "gift" to your child psychologically as well. Little Johnny knows he will take his bath, brush his teeth, and have a story read at 8:00pm (or whatever time). If your child is not yet school age, begin starting a sleep routine NOW, you will be very happy that you did. I know getting your child to sleep on schedule and in his/her own bed is very hard, ask any parent who has had to change a child's sleep pattern and where he or she sleeps.
It may seem like I'm singling out working parents, but I am not. A stay at home parent will suffer from these issues as well. If you have never stayed home with a child all day long, you have NO IDEA how hard that is! "Stay at home" parents also suffer from many of these same issues. A sleep schedule though, is a gift to all parents, I believe. It is the time of day when you might be able to put your feet up for a few minutes and relax. You will have time on the weekends etc. to spend more quality time with your children, when nobody is overly sleep deprived! Remember also, adults should receive at least 7 hours of sleep a day if not more. Studies also show that adults who do not get enough sleep are also at a higher risk for obesity.
So have those family meals, look for healthy options. And make sure your child has a reasonable bedtime! And mom and dad. you get enough sleep too. Your health and the health of your children are more important than dust on the furniture or dirty dishes! I always believe a healthy body nourishes a healthy mind.
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